Dear Family, Friends, Teachers, New Acquaintances, and Strangers,
My kid has Autism and she is different in many ways- like
all children are unique from one another.
Sometimes, she displays odd behaviors like shouting when she
gets frustrated and she often does.
She
spins when happy or bored or overwhelmed. She sometimes like to talk loud and
become noisy in places where she needs to be silent, like in church.
She has difficulty with social interaction and processing
questions or information so sometimes she might not respond right away when you
ask her what her name is. She might not look you in the eye and shy away from
your hand shakes.
As odd as it may seem, My four year old doesn't know how to
properly play with children her age. She doesn't enjoy tea parties, or playing
mommy with her dolls. She doesn't enjoy Frozen, Moana, or The Little Mermaid.
Sometimes, she goes in to tantrums in public places and a
number of times it turns into meltdowns.
She has limited words and very few sentences.
All these make my daughter different, odd, and rather unfit
in a world where people value
competence, academic excellence, and conformity.
But I tell you this, teach her how and she will learn
because she understands. Her mind may work differently but that makes her
unique, and, who knows it might make the world a better place one day. Teach her
the things that you would teach a typical kid, show her the things that you can
both work on and you'll see, that with practice, she will be able to do it on
her own. Take time to bend a knee and talk to her about the things that you see
and one day when she finds her voice, she might talk back and recount the
things that she learned from you. Teach her the things that you know and I assure you that
your time is not wasted. The precious information that you share will go into a different kind of mind who may see things on a perspective not the same as yours but my assurance is that it will go into a mind that works differently but certainly not less.
Ask her 'what'. What do you see? What do you hear? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What are you thinking? What do you want? She might not get it at this time but she wants you to ask even if she doesn't answer because sometimes all she wants is consideration. Consider her feelings, and include her in your discussions. Sometimes, she might appear like she is not listening but she does. Ask her 'what' like you would ask a typical kid and you might be surprised that she knows the answers to your questions and shock you with how profound she understands some things. Oftentimes, she might not give you the right answer but I will go back and ask you again to teach her how.
This is a plea form a mother, a plea that I'm sure many other parents of children on the spectrum would want to ask of you... INCLUDE US, TEACH US HOW, ASK US WHAT. All we need is an opportunity.
