Suspecting Autism? Don't Be Afraid

From the moment your little bundle of joy arrives into the world, you want to give nothing but the best. You hold her into your arms and you start thinking about giving her the toys that you weren't able to get when you were still a child, watching and singing to the same Disney movies that you loved. Fast forward to toddler-hood, you see her finishing school and getting the life that you think is best for her or him. That's how optimistic and hopeful parents are, a day old baby in our arms and we start thinking about sending her to college! Maybe this is another factor why a lot of parents find it hard to accept the diagnosis. I have also been there. I went through denial, depression, and finally acceptance. Most of these emotions was probably because of selfishness. I had this perfect vision of how I see my daughter's future but I did not see Autism coming.

As early as 18 months old, I began noticing that my daughter was a little different from other kids. She does not respond when her name is called, doesn't point, doesn't call me 'mama', doesn't wave and was very anxious whenever we are with new people or a new environment. I had a suspicion, but I waived the thought. After-all, she loved playing peek-a-boo, she smiles a lot, loves to be tickled, and hugged. She was very attached to me and I thought, it doesn't add up. She was 2 years and 6 months old when I finally gathered my courage to have her assessed but we still had to wait for a couple of months to be seen by a developmental pediatrician as the queuing was long. I did not wait. I called clinics from other cities to get a booking for the assessment and finally, after a month, I was able to have her checked. Turns out, my suspicion was right. My daughter was diagnosed under Autism Spectrum Disorder. I should have trusted my instincts and had her checked when I had the suspicion but I was afraid. See the 'I' there? I was afraid. My daughter wasn't, my daughter did not understand nor care. Of course, because she depended on me for food, for care, and on my better judgement but I failed her because I thought more of myself rather than doing what's best for her. 

Today, we are still benefiting from early diagnosis and I'm glad that I did not let my denial get in the way. She is now having occupational therapy, speech therapy, and swimming, which helps her a lot. My daughter is highly functional but her diagnosis gives us different kinds of challenges everyday but I could not be any more proud of her. She is my greatest achievement and the things that she overcomes and achieves everyday are my achievements too.

If you think that your child might have autism, here are my unsolicited advice:

• Have your child checked. There is nothing wrong with being sure. There is something wrong with assuming that there is nothing wrong even if there is. 
• Trust your instincts. Mother knows best as they say. A lot of people might give you their advice and their insights but in the end, you get to decide. Listen to the good advice, stash the bad ones and save it for never. 
• Allow yourself to be sad, and yes for a time, get depressed but not too much. Remember that it's not about you. It is about that little one who entrusts his or her entire life to you. So make a decision. Sulk and get nothing or man-up and fight for your child.
• Take time to rest and unwind. This is a special advise given to me by my daughter's doctor. My daughter depends on me and when I get burnt out, it is not only me who suffer but my daughter too. Going to appointments, therapy sessions and teaching your child everyday is a very exhausting job so take time to: Rest, Recharge, and Take On another day.

Good luck! And just so you know, you're on the right track.